Selita Ebanks

What a lovely vision for the November model in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar. I'd buy whatever it is she's selling. Might be a tough month to concentrate on my writing and spelling rather than staring at her as O ho dnpiy ,u eptl@/

We Used To Write Stuff Like That On Bathroom Walls....

...but now I guess it's okay to blab it to the press in interviews. The singer for some band called Maroon 5 is now talking about how bad Maria Sharapova is in bed. Ummm, okay. Probably just a reaction to your music, sport.






AUGUST 21ST EDIT: The inevitable denial of quoted remarks.

Know Before You Go: A Guide To Bikini Styles

I must admit a sense of failure in acknowledging that all of those years of perusing the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue have left me with a less than satisfactory knowledge of some of the names of the various bikini styles. (I thought somebody had told me they had descriptive words in those issues........but for the life of me I can't recall any of 'em). Glad that someone at Digg found the following site to help unfortunate people like me in educating ourselves, and for that I am eternally grateful. Cheers....




FIELD GUIDE TO BIKINIS

Cheerleader Compilation

...from the NCAA's Division 1 "March Madness" tourney. Very nice to see the lovely ladies of the University of Oregon several times, I think that it's a pre-requisite to be that good looking to qualify for the squad. For the record, the cheerleaders are never in front of my section at Autzen, cause it's full of players, referees, the injured, and the sundry other people given sideline passes. I need to switch down to the other side of the North Side of the stadium, where most of the action is.

First noticed on With Leather, who got it from The Score ; I just heard this song for the first time last week, it's the one that has lifts from Supertramp, of all artists.












youtube clip

No Visible Means Of Support

Uh-huh. Other than her shoes, I suppose. Christina Aguilera, in Las Vegas this past weekend. I don't think her mother helped pick out this outfit.


More pics HERE.

The AP Gets The Ball Rolling: Who'll Pick It Up Next?

Darn it, it won't be me, other than to note that famous celebutard Paris Hilton was the subject of an unofficial ban on stories from the Associated Press for a week. The sun still rose in the east, California hasn't fallen into the ocean, and none of the deities from various religions around the world have returned to reclaim this earth for their own, so the media experiment must've had some kind of success over something. As for me, I will certainly return to the lack of writing about Paris (not a hard promise to keep, mind, but that could change if she did something like marry Micheal Jackson ).




Full AP story is HERE

(Insert Your Own "One Way To Heat Up A Cold Winter" Joke Here)

For the few of us who forgot what today was about............the new Sports Illustrated 2007 Swimsuit calendar, obviously one of the greatest marketing achievements ever. Yamila is in it, which is a very very good thing, and I guess Beyonce is on the cover, (quite hot, according to Dan Patrick) though I haven't ventured out to a newstand yet today to see the magazine itself. Gotta save something for tomorrow, obviously.


IN CASE THE PAGE WASN'T BOOKMARKED ALREADY

Just Because It's Cold Outside.....

.............and because Yamila Diaz Rahi is very hot.

Jessica Biel.......On The Beach

You could do worse, much worse, than checking out the holiday pics of Jessica Biel on the beach in Hawaii. Link is to What Would Tyler Durden Do?. Well, I know what I would, in this case.

Salma's Campiri 2007 Calendar

Thank you to the lovely people at GORILLAMASK for posting the pics from Ms. Hayek's upcoming promo calendar for Campiri (allegedly). I dunno, I don't remember seeing any bottles in these pics.



ALL THE PICS

Waitresses As "Naughty Nurses"; Look At The Bright Side, They Know CPR

Cyndi Altman of the Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, photo by Matt York of the A.P.




Just because everything is about sex, and there isn't enough absurdity (of the good kind) these days. Imagine how Borat would've reacted had he gone to this place on his way to Los Angeles.


From today's Arizona Republic, by Amanda Lee Myers of the A.P.




The Heart Attack Grill - a Tempe theme restaurant whose specialties include the Quadruple Bypass Burger and Flatliner Fries, cooked in pure lard - is making health-care professionals' blood pressure rise, and not because of the menu.

It is because of the waitresses' naughty nurse uniforms.

The waitresses wear skimpy, cleavage-baring outfits, high heels and thigh-high stockings - a male fantasy that some nursing organizations say is an insult to the profession.


Several nurses have complained to the Arizona attorney general's office, and a national nursing group has repeatedly asked Heart Attack Grill owner Jon Basso to stop using the outfits.



"Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession," said Sandy Summers, executive director of the Center for Nursing Advocacy, based in Baltimore. "We're asking people, if they're going to have these fantasies, please don't make it so public. Move these sexual fantasies to other professions."



Basso shrugs off Summers' complaints, and refers to her and her supporters as prudes, cranks and lunatics.


"If anything, I think it glorifies nurses to be thought of as a physically attractive and desirable individual," Basso said. "There's a Faye Dunaway, Florence Nightingale hipness to it. Nobody wants to think of themselves as some old battle ax who changes bedpans for a living."

The most serious complaint Basso has faced was made to the Arizona attorney general's office by the state Board of Nursing. In September, the attorney general's office wrote Basso a letter informing him that he is illegally using the word "nurse" at his restaurant and on his Web site. Citing Arizona Statute A.R.S. 32-1636, the attorney general said only someone who has a valid nursing license can use the title "nurse."

Basso refused to remove "nurse" from his Web site but inserted an asterisk next to every nurse reference and included the following disclaimer:

"The use of the word nurse' above is only intended as a parody. None of the women pictured on our Web site actually have any medical training, nor do they attempt to provide any real medical services. It should be made clear that the Heart Attack Grill and its employees do NOT offer any therapeutic treatments (aside from laughter) whatsoever."


Basso said the complaints have been good for business, "all they've done is ensure there's going to be a gajillion of these all over the country."

The Heart Attack Grill opened a year ago with a Hooters-like formula of red meat and sexy waitresses. Diners choose from among four cheeseburgers: the Single, Double, Triple and Quadruple Bypass. The Quadruple is a towering monstrosity with four half-pound beef patties, four pieces of cheese and a mound of bacon.

"Essentially, it's nutritional pornography. It's so bad for you it's shocking," Basso said.

If "patients," as customers are called, finish a triple or quadruple bypass, waitresses will push them out to their cars in wheelchairs at no additional charge.


"The service is fantastic," Steve Koebensky of Scottsdale said with a snicker. "But they're overly dressed."

Phoenix resident Amanda Price, one of the few women customers at the restaurant, said the outfits did not offend her. "You don't hear nuns complaining about pregnant nun costumes, and that's more disgraceful than sexy nurses," she said.

But Scottsdale nurse Kira Wilder, who contributed to the letter-writing campaign against the Heart Attack Grill, complained: "Why do they have to denigrate the nursing profession and sexualize nursing? It's just not necessary."

Courtney Chapman, a 20-year-old waitress at the grill, said she found nothing wrong with the uniform or the stares she gets.

"They definitely look at us, but they're guys," she said. "If our butts are coming out the bottom of our skirts, and our boobs are coming out the top of our shirts, we're kind of asking for it."







NURSES

Man! I Feel Like A Woman!!!

.........and you're looking like one as well, Shania. From the recent Kennedy Center Honors. I feel like one as well, but I can't afford the current rates for one.... this week anyway.




SOME MORE PICS

Bikini Billboard Ruins Business Meeting

............or something like that in Auckland, New Zealand this week, if you wanna read the story HERE, you may be a better man than I ; Ms. Hayek was not depicted on the billboard though. If you don't wanna read, you can continue to be distracted by Salma. What?

Sophia For Pirelli

You looked spectacular in Prêt-à-Porter over a decade ago, now comes the news that she's posing for the famous Pirelli calendar, at age 71.




STORY

Great Conversation Starters

I think that's what Jeri Ryan's saying about her girls in this month's FHM........I forgot what I was gonna say to her next after "Uhhhhh"...............







JERI

Scarlett Sings Tom Waits???

Sure, according to THIS. Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis as done by Ms. Johansson would sound just lovely, I should imagine.





FEB.13TH EDIT: A little bit more info now on the album, out in the latter part of May. Have to admit I'm looking forward to Scarlett having a go at Who Are You?. UPDATE